Guilt and how it can interfere with diabetes

Have you ever said? ….. “I feel like the reason I got diabetes was all my fault.” My sugar is high, I am so bad that I ate that piece of pie!”

Does your blood sugar come with a numerical number and a dose of judgment from yourself? 

“I feel so guilty,” she told me. “If I’d taken better care, this might not have happened.” 

Are you persistently saying 
“I was good, I had no sweets today, or “I was good, I exercised today “I have been a bad diabetic this week.”  Or “I was bad, I did not eat good today, Etc., etc., etc.

It may not even be you shaming yourself. Have you ever had a health care professional say, “If you don’t try harder and lose weight you are going to suffer from a complication!” Although a well-meaning health care professional, that may not be an ideal way to motivate you. In my experience though most healthcare professionals are caring and understanding.

“When people feel guilty about not achieving their goals, they anticipate their doctor will be disappointed”, says Cesar Gonzalez, PhD, a clinical psychologist at the Mayo Clinic in Rochester, Minnesota. 

Susan Guzman, PhD, director of clinical education at the Behavioral Diabetes Institute in San Diego estimates that one-third to two-thirds of her patients experience feelings of guilt surrounding their diabetes diagnosis, particularly when it comes to falling short of their treatment goals. 

I read an article called Guilt, a major diabetes complication.  . https://asweetlife.org/guilt-a-major-diabetes-complication/

My experience as a diabetes educator for over 20 years is that statement is very true! Guilt runs ramped with diabetes. Guilt is a negative emotion that can undermine your efforts.

“Guilt is anger directed toward ourselves at what we did or did not do.”

Peter McWilliams

The link between guilt and diabetes may derive from the social stigma and common misconception that diabetes is your fault, especially those people with Type 2 Diabetes. In a diaTribe(http://diaTribe.org  ) survey of more than 5,400 people with diabetes, 52% of those with diabetes reported that the diagnosis is accompanied by social stigma. 

Many factors do come in to play being diagnosed with diabetes, having a family history plays a role too, especially Type 2 diabetes. 

Learning about the technical issues is important with Diabetes-food planning, stress management, medication and activity and also it’s very important to look at the emotional side of diabetes. A common occurrence that is seen especially with having diabetes is guilt  

In order to have a healthy emotional life with diabetes it is important to learn how to rid yourself from this heavy burden- Guilt!  After all, guilt can cause anxiety. Anxiety can raise blood sugar. It is important not to hold on to it. It will not serve you.

Action steps to work on eliminating GUILT:

  • Remove the words good, bad, and should from your vocabulary.  I always tell my patients to not beat themselves up when I hear these words. Be kind to yourself.

  • Guilt can serve a purpose to inform you.  It does not have to be all consuming. Use the feeling to inform yourself on what can be improved next time. It is important not to hold on to guilt. We are all not perfect. Be careful not to hold yourself to this impossible standard.

“Guilt, like worry, is a useless emotion—useless because we don’t need to feel bad about ourselves to take corrective actions. “ Jeffrey S. Nevid PhD ABpp

  • If you believe you could make a few changes to improve your health, take charge and make a small goal. The feeling of accomplishment will foster good feelings. For example, increasing activity or eating more vegetables. Having small successes will help reduce any guilt caused by not achieving major changes 

  • When you check blood sugar absolutely avoid judgment.  The number is only to provide information to help guide you. It is not a number to tell you if you have been good or bad.

  • Do not let diabetes define you. Remember, you are not a diabetic; you are a person who has diabetes who has strengths and weaknesses like everyone else in the world.

  • Find a local or on-line group of people who have diabetes to share common experiences.  https://www.everydayhealth.com/hs/managing-type-2-diabetes/finding-your-way-in-a-diabetes-support-group/

In conclusion, mistakes inform us, guilt impedes us. Focus on the positive, all your best qualities and all you are grateful for then move on and enjoy your life.

Jane Giambrone